Need VS Need

Right now what I NEED to take a break. Like a week long vacation away from the house, alone in a hotel room getting massages every day. Need, I don't mean want, I mean need. I am under a ton of stress and there is no way to relieve it. I feel helpless, hopeless and just plain worn out. I have been having some weird occular migraines. Really pretty to look at but scary none the less. I need a break from parenting, I need a break from taking care of the house and the bills and buying the food and the animals..........

What I also need is to go to physical therapy to get ready for my shoulder surgery next month. I need to make sure the van gets a new windshield because it is broken badly. I need to pick my mother and father in law up at the airport. I need to get my son from school after his track practice. I need to be ready for seeing my husband after so many months. I need to .................

The need to do the second bunch will outweigh the first. I have to find a way to fit me in. I feel a bit like the pond in Spring with tiny cracks around the edges. If I am not careful there will be holes and no one needs that! The good news is the soldier is on his way. He should be here at home by tomorrow night. Maybe we both could just curl up in bed and sleep? That sounds really good!

God's lesson

Well my last post I stated that I wasn't a patient person. I guess God sees that as a challenge. I still don't have a date of when Jim will arrive. The most current guess of when he will leave Afghanistan is April 11th. The fighting has been intense from what I can gather. He gives out no information really. He did send me a link to an article about one. http://www.dvidshub.net/?script=news/news_show.php&id=32037

So I understand that travel is dangerous and that he is needed. I would be lying if I didn't say I need him to and that I just want him home. I was find for months and months with little contact but when the hope of him coming home was placed before me I took it. Now it just keeps getting moved and that is really really hard. We made plans for his original come home date and that has passed days ago. My mother had hoped to see him, she is already at home at at work. The boys have Spring break this week. We were going to do all sorts of things but they all included Jim. I feel sorry for the boys. Their break was anything but fun. We had hoped to spend Easter with him that won't happen either. His parents arrive on the 15th. If he gets out on the 11th and makes great connections he should get to see them.

We all sit here waiting and worrying. We understand that he isn't coming because it is too dangerous to travel. God is teaching me patience. I must be patient that when the perfect time for him to come arrives he will leave there and start his trek here. God is teaching me that I can make plans, lots of people can make plans but he is the one in charge and knows best.

Pray that Jim's travels are safe and soon!