Thanksgiving AAR

AAR? Well in the Army an AAR is an After Action Review. You go over an event/mission and figure out how it all went. How it all came out in the end. Did you have enough stuff? Do enough? Prepare enough? Did people like it? Did it work? What would you do differently next time? It is a really good tool to mentally do so you don’t get stuck in a rut doing the bad things over and over. If your event/mission was a great success you surely want to document how you did it so you or someone else can do it to!

My Thanksgiving AAR:
Food was amazing. The kids and I made a feast to be proud of. Jon made the pumpkin pie that was quite tasty. Jeffrey peeled the potatoes. He wasn’t feeling well so we didn’t want him around much food. Jen cut up carrots, celery and onion which we sautéed in olive oil then simmered in white wine to put in the dressing. I also used half wine when putting the water in the stuffing instead of all water or broth. The wine gave it a great flavor, definitely doing that again.

But quite honestly the turkey was the best ever. Best turkey I have ever eaten let alone made. I marinated it over night and Jen basted it every 15 minutes. Basically, Dijon mustard, soy sauce and fresh lemons was the concoction. We juiced the lemons and put the rinds inside the bird (Josephine we named her). It was very juicy, had beautiful color and the taste was something to behold. We will be doing that again!

So the feasting went well. We ate very well and enjoyed each others company. Jen spent the evening going through sales ads. That meant only one thing. She wanted to go shopping on Black Friday! I had something on my side though. She didn’t have an alarm clock to wake me before dawn. We did go out and shop though. We were really not out for bargain basement prices but really just mother daughter time out shopping. We did a little damage to the lists but it was more about eating the lunch than the gifts.

Saturday we decided to get the Christmas stuff out. That was me saying to the boys “hey, would you please bring up the Christmas bins!” I had to beg and plead and then Jen and I went out shopping again. There is a new Salvation Army store she was dying to check out. The boys were to start decorating. Do the basic stuff, put up the fake tree (since we plan to go to Wisconsin for Christmas), put up the stockings etc.

Jen shopped until my knee was causing shooting pains then we went home. The boys had done as asked. They put up the tree and put up the stockings. The stocking holders that are suppose to say SANTA had been rearranged to say SATAN instead. There is also the snowman incident where they took the white bulb out of the glowing snowman and put a red one in instead. Making the SATAN sign on the mantle along with the red eyed glowing snowman all part of our "holiday" decor.

AAR on the weekend: Do marinate the turkey! But don’t leave teenage boys around to do the decorating without supervision!

Being Thankful

Thanksgiving:
It is a time in our country when we are to sit back and give thanks. Give thanks for what we have, thanks for things that we don’t. I have recently had lots of things to be ungrateful for. Things I didn’t want/need/desire. I don’t like sitting in my Northern Virginia home planning my day of thanks without my husband. One of the days that you spend together as a family we are apart. That isn’t what I would choose. I am used to cooking for a dozen people. Inviting people over who have no other place to go. My mother always did that to. I grew up with the holidays filled with some stray coming to our home to celebrate with us. This year I am cooking for my three children and myself. I am grateful for that but yet it feels small in comparison some how.

I suggested to the children that we go out to dinner to one of those fancy buffet dinners. All the tasty goodness, with none of the cooking work. They didn’t like that idea at all. They looked at me with shocked and hurt eyes. Like they were not worthy of me cooking the giant meal. They are worthy but dang it is a lot of work!! I also need knee surgery so standing that long to cook would be painful. I looked down to my feet and thought a minute. I decided that I would cook the thanksgiving meal if they would help. So on Thursday, my teenage children and I will be cooking our meal together as a family team.

What am I thankful for? I am thankful for being an American citizen. I have met and befriended many people over the years who are not from my country. They come in hopes of fulfilling a dream. To study, to get a job in the field that they desire where in their home country it would be impossible. Some have stayed here in the USA are working, studying, following a dream. Many people have an American dream. No matter what the current idea is, USA is till a place where dreams can come true.

I am thankful for my family. I have three beautiful, smart children who are kind people. They care about others and will be a positive influence on society.

I am thankful for my husband. He is strong, determined and patriotic. He could have retired from the Army, he has over 22 years in already. He however saw that his country needed him and his skills to train the Afghan Army and he went. He had spinal surgery just weeks before he left home. Getting fit enough to go took grit and determination that few possess.

I am thankful for my friends and extended family. I am not very good at asking for help when I really do need it, but there are a special few who ignore my pleading of “I will be fine, don’t worry” and push me into accepting help. I hate to be needy, I hate to be weak. I am learning to feel stronger when I ask for help because strength doesn’t come from doing it alone but from having people who love you to help you with the load when it is heavy.

So although my life as of recently wouldn’t be one that most anyone would look at and think thanks are in order, I am thankful. I have what I need most, peace in my home, my family members safe for today, food, friends and a future full of more possibilities. Just because today isn’t all that I would dream of there are many more tomorrows to work on. So think of me and the three kids making pumpkin pie together, heaving the turkey into the oven and sitting down at the table giving thanks for all we have. Have a very Blessed Thanksgiving.

Common Sense, Where did it go??

Frustration doesn’t even come close to the feeling I have about the economic crisis that is going on in our country. I don’t think it is going to kill the United States of America or anything like that. It is bad but not deadly. What is so frustrating to me is the lack of common sense that has seemed to take over businesses and the government.

Why in heaven’s name would you give money to banks that can’t even figure out who to loan money to. So you are giving money to people who basically give money away. Where is the logic in that? I guess it doesn’t “feel” as bad if it isn’t money out of your personal pocket but instead taxpayers. It probably doesn’t feel as bad if you make a ton of money, saved a ton of money and won’t feel the pinch when this hits the fan.

A business no matter how big or how small needs to always keep the bottom line in mind. That is what a business is in the end, a vehicle to make money. Funny I used the word vehicle. The US auto industries are also begging for money today. They fly into DC in their private jets to the tune of $20,000 a pop. Probably in expensive suits having eaten nice meals after begging for money. They need billions of dollars to help their business because they claim they can’t do it themselves. How do they know that?

How can they possibly know they can’t do it themselves? Have they tightened their belt, cut the wages on top? If you are not making money and need handouts you surely don’t deserve a big wage. Have you sold off the unnecessary things, hmmm like private jets?? Have you looked at your product and designed and marketed it to the public needs? The answer to all these questions is NO, no, no! They haven’t done this. They want to keep doing the wrong things and get free money to refigure the business instead of changing their current way of doing things. It gives them all the benefits of a positive change for their business, without the pain of changing bad business practices. Pointing out again to you that their way is failing, hence the need for the billions!

I heard about the FDIC or some other government organization is now securing gift cards. Gift Cards!!! I guess that companies can sell gift cards but they don’t actually secure that money anywhere. It is just put in their coffers to be used as they see fit. Hoping that a percentage of people won’t use them and they have free money. A company went out of business and there was a lot of money in unused gift cards outstanding. The people holding those cards were out all that money. Millions of dollars!

So to avoid this, the government has decided to back them. Wouldn’t common sense indicate instead, making the businesses keep that amount of money fluid on their books to cover the gift cards/money that was given to them? Why not make businesses maintain that money in a separate account, at least for a reasonable amount of time, 5 years maybe?

Who is watching the government yahoos that are handing out money like drinks of water? “You need a drink? Sure here is one for your!”

Where is the common sense in all this?? Where are the sane people, thinking about the bottom line in their jobs instead of only their home budget. Where are the people who think of the common good? I personally know many in the military, why are those type not running our businesses and our government? All you with common sense please step forward, your country needs you!

As I was driving away I opened the side window and yelled “just please be safe!”

As I was driving away I opened the side window and yelled “just please be safe!”, and with that he was gone. It has been an emotional week. My husband drove from Fort Riley Kansas to bring his car home to Virginia. Jim, only had a few days, a weekend really. He was happy to be home but wasn’t really here if you know what I mean. He was already mentally in Afghanistan. He spent the few days he was here just going over everything he wanted everyone to know and do while he was gone. He wants us to remember him and remember the mission and its merits. Right now I don’t care about the mission or the ANA (Afghan National Army) or if they can get trained up to a 21st century military capable of securing their people. Ok, I do a little but I am more concerned with my husband’s safety.

While he was here we went to visit a few reporters. He felt it important that people were educated on the country of Afghanistan, on the mission, on the soldiers going there. He doesn’t do this for his own recognition but for everyone doing this job. It is a dangerous job, given to few, that the entire war depends on. The reporters were wonderful. They were interested in learning and in hearing his story, my story, the story of military families and even the story of the Afghanistan mission.

I got a call Saturday morning from each of my brother’s. Each wanting to tell me that my 95 yr old grandmother was ill and it didn’t look good. She was a tough bird but even tough birds at 95 are fragile. I sat in the meetings with the reporters holding my phone. Hoping it would ring and also hoping it wouldn’t. We made it through two meetings with no word.

We were on the metro leaving DC when my phone did ring (or rather vibrated). It was my brother. He said Gram was failing and failing fast. I could hear in the background machines and people talking. The phone went dead, we went into a tunnel. No signal… Came out of the tunnel and called again, more machine noise then none. That afternoon, while listening in on the phone my gram passed quietly away with family and love.

Jim put his hand on my shoulder (he was sitting behind me as the metro car was packed). He also later hugged me and told me he was sorry for my loss. I was glad he was there. So while preparing to say goodbye to Jim, I was simultaneously planning my drive back to Wisconsin for the funeral of my Grandmother. That was a tightrope time. I didn’t want Jim to think I wasn’t concentrating on his departure but I had things to do. He kept asking me why I wasn’t crying. I explained that “crying is a frivolity I can’t give in to right now, maybe next week”. I did cry a little, just those few tears that slip out when I had a moment break. There was no way I could just give in to that though. No time, no extra emotional energy to put toward grieving or saying goodbye.

As if that were not enough to flatten me, I cut up an apple to give to our pet guinea pig and found him dead in his cage. He hadn’t appeared ill or acted strangely at all. Jim sadly offered to bury him in the back garden. After that, we all packed, Jim packed up his few things he was taking with him, the boys and I packed for our trip to Wisconsin. It was not a happy packing time with anticipation of a holiday vacation. This was nothing like that at all.

Monday, the boys went to school and I took Jim to the airport. On our way out of the driveway our neighbor needed help jump starting her vehicle. We stopped and did that for her. Then we were off. We talked little on that drive to the airport. We both tried to sound normal, like he was off for a week or to a conference or training. It was false, we were both gutted inside. We kissed, said goodbye and even though I barely had air in my lungs I opened the side window and yelled.

The Eulogy I gave today for my Grandmother

A Eulogy is supposed to surmise someone’s life. For my grandmother how can you do that in one small speech? She lived a long, full adventurous life. She was born when William Taft was president! Like All of us she had some fears, one was death, mostly because she didn’t want to miss any of the new things that the world was going to invent. Blessedly her passing was brief and peaceful. One we all hope for. She feared living in a nursing home, because of my mother that was a fear she never had to face either. I want to concentrate on the extensive list of things that in her long life amazed her.

Automobiles, Radio, TV, telephones, man walked on the moon, computers, IPod’s… The list is endless. She was born the year the Titanic sank. She saw 17 presidents and even voted for our new president before she died. To put it into perspective she was a young girl when women got the right to vote. She took the right to vote very seriously. I went to vote Tuesday before I drove here from Virginia. I figured if my now deceased 95 yr old grandmother could vote I sure as heck would go.

Ann Elizabeth was the oldest child of Peter and Elizabeth . She was born in Wisconsin. Her father was a farmer. She was an anticipated child. In my diggings I saw an old postcard from one relative to another that discussed the arrival of a beautiful round baby girl born to Peter and Elizabeth.

She is the older sister of Fronie and Norman. She talked of watching her father studying a blue book deciding Norman’s name. Watching the two sisters never grew old. They spoke German to each other if they didn’t want anyone to know what they were talking about. They called each other daily at 9am. Ann and Fronie were as connected as two sisters could be. It was a constant battle of who was right. Ann would say the worst thing about growing old was losing your sight, Fronie would counter with it was not being able to walk well. They were always there for each other through thick and thin. Seeing them, made me miss not having a sister of my own to share my life with.

She remembered going to the tavern in Nabob and seeing her first ever radio. The men were passing around a large headset listening to the Dempsey vs. Tunney fight. She saw the movie Snow White at a medicine show that came through the area. Transportation by horse and sleigh in the winter. Christmas lights that were candles. Running outside to see a bi-wing plane that happened to go by. She wasn’t any less impressed and amazed at the gps my mother bought or when my children showed her an IPod. Technology also got her busted not long ago. For safety reasons we all asked her to stay in the house and not do stairs; if no one was home. She swore up and down she abided by that. Well, one day David went on Google maps and looked up the home address; and there plain as day is a picture of her walking towards the trash cans to remove them from the street, she still swears, not’s not her, must be someone that looks like me!

Ann Holz was taking care of her grandmother when a young man was doing some work next door. She was interested. He was slightly younger but she didn’t care. She set her eye and married him. Ann and John Lubner got married Nov. 25, 1939. It was the time of FDR and WWII. Ann and John had two children, a son Lyle and a daughter Arlene.
Ann always worked; her work ethic was second to none. She worked during WWII making pants for the Army. When I was growing up she worked at Doerr electric winding motors. She literally wound wire into motors 5 days a week. The work was really secondary to the friends she had there. It was really all about crochet patterns, recipes for sweets and catching up on the news of the community.

When Ann “retired” she starting working as a home health aide. She took care of inbound patients. She volunteered in the church kitchen for funerals making countless cakes and so many pound s of German potato salad I can’t even begin to quantify the amount.
Ann was always busy. She thrived on activity. she stayed out until 10:30 pm every Thursday, she loved to play cards and felt blessed by her card friends who over the years picked her up and took her along to play, Her last card club date was Thursday where she very proudly came home and told everyone she won 45 cents. She was now finally a rich woman. She loved to crochet and do ceramics. Cynthia Brehm, her neighbor was always there to take her to ceramic classes, shopping, and help her figure out a new crochet pattern. Putting eyes in a ceramic fox or taking her to senior citizens. (Thank you, Mrs. Brehm and all those that helped her continue to do the things she enjoyed )

Ann loved to travel, to see new places. Don’t look for many pictures of these adventures however. Grandma had a rare talent in photography; she could behead any human, donkey or camel with a click. My grandmother loved to go on family trips. We would stop at a campground and before the camper was set up she would know more details about every resident of the campground than their mothers. She had a way with people. She loved going to the senior citizens center, she got to see friends and get the news of the town. She was a compassionate listener and would help anyone she could. When Lisa and Chuck lived in the house behind, their dog Tucker and our dog Blazer just didn’t get along. Grandma one day after a dog brawl told Chuck that she just didn’t understand it, they both loved her why didn’t they like each other?
On one of her trips she came to Germany to see me around the time I was due to give birth. And as only God could arrange it. She was there in Germany on her birthday, which then became the birthday of my daughter Jennifer. To top that off, it’s also the day the Berlin wall fell. So on her birthday, in Germany she got a new great granddaughter and was witness to the fall of the Berlin wall.

As a grandmother you could have not asked for more. She played catch with the boys, and baked cakes and cookies with the girls. She knew what each family member’s favorite sweet treat was. Most liked chocolate chip cookies but my favorite were the peanut butter ones. She made poppy seed cake for Lyle on and on. Growing up she was everyone’s grandmother. All the children in the neighborhood called her grandma. For many years I just thought that was her name. Her great grandchildren will miss her to. She made sure that a trip to Wayne’s restaurant was on the agenda. You can’t come to Wisconsin and not get a real burger and maltshake at the drive in was her motto.

When her husband died so many years ago they put her name and 19 on their shared head stone. She outlived that by a number of years. It will have to be changed to 2008. We will all miss her; she leaves behind a sister, a son, a daughter, 6 grandchildren, 10 great grandchildren, nieces, nephews, family and friends. When you live almost 96 years you leave a mark on the world. If you wish to honor her, keep family close if not in person in heart. Have fun, look at the world with amazement and continue to find things you feel passionately about. Express yourself, hug tightly with meaning and know that growing old of body doesn’t have to mean growing old of heart or mind.